Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Owwsi

(Translation Jack-ish to English: "outside")

Jack's favorite things:
1. Choo choos (i.e. trains) and trucks, but especially trains. Sometimes I feel like this is all he cares about.
2. Books, particularly about choo choos
3. Thomas videos (I've only seen 1 at the library, and we pretty much have that one memorized. Thank God for youtube)
4. Food (he could live on strawberries if I let him)
5. Owwsi

We don't have a ton for the outside, so I'd like some feedback if you could. Should we build him a swing set? Mind you, I am cheap, so big purchases like this take a lot of thought. I usually talk myself (or hubby) out of anything over $20. Make that $5, unless it includes food or gas.

We have some push toys, a tricycle, a tree swing (thanks Mom and Dad!) that is about to break the poor tree limb because (ehhem, see #4) he's at least 30 lbs at this point. We definitely need to move it before our tree lands on our house. We also have a simple sandbox/trucks/shovels, which he loves. Add in some sidewalk chalk, a few balls, and a wagon, and that's about it for the outside. For someone who could practically live outside if we let him, I feel like there is something missing. But I'm finding that I have a fear (like my mom had when we were kids) that he'll never use it. So, for those who have one, do you recommend it? If not, what are your favorite outdoor activities for a toddler/preschooler?

I've also pondered the ever-daunting trampoline. I say daunting, b/c I am scared to death of those things. My parents probably vividly remember when I came home from a friend's house with an ankle so messed up (3 major tendons torn, including the achilles) that I vowed to never step on a trampoline again. But this is yet another activity that Jack loves and is a great way to get exercise.

On another note, I want to direct you to my friend, Mandy's blog. She posted some cute pictures of our kids playing. Jack had such a blast at their house! Usually it takes him 10 minutes to warm up, but he quickly left my arms and wreaked havoc on the poor girl's playroom. :)

Saturday, February 23, 2008

The Real Inconvenient Truth

The pro-life movement has been discussed and debated so much, that I think it has in some ways been desensitized. I, for one, almost forget what I'm really saying when I say I'm pro-life. Sure, I think abortion is wrong...blah blah blah. But watching this clip of Bill Clinton speak so strongly against the right to life brought me to tears, not understanding how this has gotten so out of control. Pro-abortionists are probably so used to seeing bumper stickers with "adoption, not abortion" or "xxxx million babies murdered each year" that they don't even think about what that means anymore. I sometimes hate myself for not praying about this often enough, for not standing up and saying "this is evil!" to those who don't agree.

This is a sensitive subject for some, a simple, non-emotional political argument for others. I have many pro-life friends, some of whom have had abortions in the past. I see the heartache it causes. I see the open wound that it leaves behind. Abortion doesn't just hurt the child, but it forever scars the mother. Why can't people see how devastating this is for our families, our communities, our whole world? Why can't people accept the consequences of their actions, no matter how inconvenient those consequences are? Why do we insist that it is wrong to watch a person abuse their children, neglect them, drown them in lakes, but say it's a woman's right to kill her unborn baby? I know what it's like to have a child who isn't "perfect" or who doesn't fit into my perfect little life. I know what it's like to be scared *out of one's mind* about the prospect of having a child who has special needs. I know friends who spend their nights in hospital rooms while their children are on ventilators, fighting for their lives. But, my God, they are no less human than we are! This is a holocaust that I fear has no end in sight, and I shake at the thought of what it really means. I feel responsible for not taking a stronger stance, for being fearful of offending others who don't think like me. Back in high school, our youth group would pray the Rosary in front of an abortion clinic in Pittsburgh - one of the largest in the country. I remember fervently praying for the women walking inside, for the clinic escorts who scorned and mocked us. The evil I had witnessed in the escorts' faces is indescribable. But now that I'm in my cozy little neighborhood, in my cozy little town, I too easily forget that this happens every single day, to millions of mothers and their children. I just hope and pray that my story can touch those who are faced with similar situations. And that God will use me in any way he can to reach out to scared and helpless women who don't know which way to turn.

On another note, I read on a forum this scripture passage that someone posted. I think it speaks well to those who have lost loved ones:

Hope in the Lord. My soul is deprived of peace, I have forgotten what happiness is; I tell myself my future is lost, all that I hoped for from the Lord. The thought of my homeless poverty is wormwood and gall; Remembering it over and over leaves my soul downcast within me. But I will call this to mind, as my reason to have hope: The favors of the LORD are not exhausted, his mercies are not spent; They are renewed each morning, so great is his faithfulness. My portion is the LORD, says my soul; therefore will I hope in him. Good is the LORD to one who waits for him, to the soul that seeks him; It is good to hope in silence for the saving help of the LORD.
Lamentations 3:17-26

I can say at this point that I now remember what happiness is, thank God. I have restored hope. In fact, I feel more fulfilled because I know exactly what it's like to hit the bottom and to live in despair. Living in the moment is all I can do, and I'm really starting to get that. I love my family so much...sometimes I wonder how my heart is going to remain intact when I feel it swell with love for my son and husband. (Jack's laugh especially does a number on it!). And honestly, I give Bernadette all the credit. I miss her desperately, but I know it is because of her death that I have gained such appreciation for the life I have.

May she continue to intercede for us and for all those who have walked with us in this journey!

Monday, February 11, 2008

Our Lady of Lourdes

So, today marks the 150th anniversary of Lourdes, where Mary appeared to St. Bernadette and identified herself as the Immaculate Conception. During my pregnancy with Bernadette, I drank water that John Mark brought back from Lourdes 9 years ago (we have a large bottle of it - it still tastes sweet and fresh!). As I drank it, I begged God to heal our sweet baby. Well, he did eventually heal her in the most perfect way possible - by allowing her spirit to rest eternally in heaven.

I have thought a lot about St. Bernadette and the immense suffering she went through during her brief life. Yet Mary came to her - a humble and poor woman - and through Bernadette's faithfulness and obedience, countless miracles, conversions, and healings have occurred. At Mass today, I came to realize just how simple life was. We are here for one purpose...to get to heaven and bring as many people with us as we can. We are called to love and serve God and his people. The End. All these bumps in the road are scary and treacherous, but if we keep our hearts and minds focused on Christ, we will get there (by the grace of God). St. Bernadette was poor, uneducated, and very ill. She died in her 20's. Yet God used her to move mountains, and in the end, that was all that mattered. So, I can sit here and complain that life isn't fair. That nothing is turning out the way I had wanted it to. Or I can allow God to lead me to where he wants me to go. I can stop worrying about what tomorrow will bring and just accept where I am today. He knows what he's doing.

St. Bernadette and little St. Bernadette, pray for us! Happy Feast Day!


Christmas '07 - Eating, of course

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Being Thankful

I have met some wonderful people through Bernadette's short life, some of whom I've already mentioned. Another friend of mine, who actually lives near me, is someone I met through a clubfoot forum. Her son has a serious muscle disorder, and I'd like to ask you to pray for him. He's in the hospital with RSV, which is scary for anyone, let alone a child who has trouble breathing to begin with. He's currently on a ventilator in the PICU. Her blog is here. She is such a self-less, down-to-earth mother who has given me so much support this past year. She is undoubtedly an inspiration to many moms who have special-needs children!

Jack and I are still in Mobile. John Mark drove his dad's car back home, but we stayed behind to get the car fixed and to have Jack play with his cousins. He absolutely loves it here. I am sick with a weird stomach bug, so I'm trying to hibernate and keep my germies to myself. We have been keeping up with the Gaudet's house. We went by last night (their neighbor behind them allows folks to stand in their driveway and watch) and were amazed that in a matter of 2 days, they already had the foundation, frame, and part of the roof already put up! At the demolition on Sunday, it was pretty funny to see people (particularly women) go nuts at having a celebrity in their midst. They kept screaming "Ty!!!" like little school girls.

Speaking of Extreme Makeover, we watched Sunday's episode about the girl who was diagnosed with brain cancer, which eventually spread to her bone marrow. Only months after their new house was built, she passed away on Dec 28, 2007. Her story really touched me because I know all too well that death and suffering are real. It's not just something that is reserved for somebody else. When they would ask her about the chemo treatment she received, she just said how sorry she was that other kids had to suffer like she does. That when you spend your days sick in a hospital bed, you don't get to live your life. They showed some kids in the hospital playroom who were there for treatment. These kids are forced to grow up way too quickly. A sweet boy, JJ, whose family belongs to our parish passed away last January from cancer. His mom is in a moms group I'm in, and she has been an inspiration to many. Joy just radiates from her, and it's so apparent that she is living her life to the fullest, knowing how easily it can be taken away.

So, my prayers go out to all children who suffer. For their parents who feel helpless and afraid. May God grant you peace!

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Mardi Gras

This weekend, we drove to Mobile for Mardi Gras. Lots of unexpected excitement!

1. Fifteen miles from Caroline's house, as we are driving on I-65, we hit a deer! I was driving in the right lane, and I saw the adorable thing coming from the left side. The car in front of us just missed it, but there was no way I could avoid it. :( If I had swerved, who knows what would've happened to the traffic behind me. So, I ran right into it. Our Guardian angels were clearly protecting us, though, because it could have been MUCH worse. It hit our hood, then ran right into the right side of the windshield. I muttered (well, muttered may not be the best word) "Deer...deer...DEER!" and as John Mark looked up, he saw her head come right at him. If it wasn't for the column between the windshield and passenger door, she could've easily killed John Mark. I stopped on the side of the road, and all of a sudden, Jack just started screaming. I have a feeling he will never be much of a hunter after this experience. When I got out, I asked "Where is the deer? Did he run off?" But of course, she was lying dead near the trees 100 feet behind us. :( So, that was a great start to our trip. BUT,

2. Friends of the Webers (The Gaudet Family) won Extreme Makeover Home Edition yesterday! We knew they were in the Top 5, but we didn't get our hopes up since it seemed so unbelievable. Caroline and her family used to live 2 doors down from them, and I wish they still did so we could witness the excitement. They have the neighborhood blocked off, and the cops won't allow anyone to drive through. They are allowing the public to witness the demolition tomorrow and the unveiling next weekend, though. Anyway, we are so excited for them. They are now in Arizona at a resort and are going to the Super Bowl! They have 8 kids all together. Their family is involved in the charismatic community that John Mark's family belonged to, and they have been friends for many years. We are all praising God for the wonderful gift of a new home and a better life for their family. http://www.al.com/news/mobileregister/index.ssf?/base/news/1201947350288250.xml&coll=3&thispage=2

So, I will post some pics of our car soon and keep you updated on the Gaudet's!