I think most of us realize that our society thrives on convenience. For those who know me, you know how nutty I am when it comes making things from scratch. I never seem to take the easy road (which is often the smarter road, mind you)...why not make all the centerpieces for our wedding instead of hiring a florist to do them? And forget frozen chicken fingers, steak fries, chicken broth, and pizza. I'll just make it all to save a few dollars. Canned soup? Whatever, I'll just spend 3 hours making my own batch.
I imagine that many people think that the fact that our daughter died is sort of a relief. It's so much more convenient now that we don't have to live away from home, spend hours lying awake in the hospital. We don't have to worry about wheel chairs, physical therapy, or feeding tubes. But when it comes to your child, none of that matters. No, I can't speak for those parents who have sick or special needs children - they have it hard, and I can't pretend to know what it's like - but I can assure you that they don't think twice about what is "easy". All they care about is their children's health and well-being. I would move to the Sahara Desert if it meant that Bernadette were with us today - convenience just isn't an issue when it comes to your own flesh and blood.
I think that's what our society is missing in a way. We're always so quick to find solutions to a life of happiness and ease, and suffering is avoided at all costs. We're forgetting that suffering only leads to a deeper love for others and appreciation for our lives. I think that's one of the things I love most about my Catholic faith - the idea of redemptive suffering. So much grace flows from the crosses we bear. Souls reach heaven, sick people are healed, the dying are comforted through the pain, sorrow, and sacrifices we make. How beautiful it is that we are all united in that way.
So, please please pray for moms who are faced with the decision to abort their babies because of adverse prenatal diagnoses. They need to know that their children are worth fighting for, and that so much good will come from their lives, however short or long that may be. Taking the easy way out just isn't worth it...when you see that sweet child's face on her birthday, you'll realize that nothing else matters but the love you have for her.
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September 2007
About Me
- Michele
- I am a SAHM to a sweet boy on earth and a beautiful girl in heaven. Hubby and I are devout Catholics who are learning to live each day with gratitude for all the blessings God has given us.
6 comments:
I was one of those moms facing abortion when we learned of our son's prenatal diagnosis. We were told his heart defects were not compatible with life. We decided no matter what, we would bring him into this world anyway. God would do the rest. He was 7 weeks premature, he has multiple heart defects and a defect that causes him to aspirate when he swallows. He has had 2 open heart surgeries and needs at least 2 more. He has a trach to breathe, is on oxygen 24/7 and eats through a tube in his tummy.
And I wouldn't change it for the world. He turned 15 months old yesterday. Every single day that he wakes up is a good day.
I pray for your strength, and for you to be able to remember your daughter without feeling so much pain. I know it will NEVER stop hurting. I just want it to subside for you a little.
Rene
You are so right, they do need many prayers. You are going to be a true prayer intercessor for them, as is Bernadette, from above.
We have a natural inclination to reject the cross - especially so when it involves our children. It takes a lot of supernatural grace to stay emotionally and spiritually focused - this is true of the small crises, let alone the big ones, like a really difficult prenatal diagnosis. Just because some of us could never imagine abortion - it is not so with all moms. They need whatever prayer support we can muster to help them open themselves to trusting God.
Like Rene, I continue to pray for you.
Rene, that was so simple, but beautiful: Every single day that he wakes up is a good day.
Was it just bladder cloacal extrophy? Or was it the more serious OEIS? It sounded from your Sept blog like OEIS. My Baby girl Clarise is Twin B of monoamniotic monochronic twin girls. I spent 2 months in the hospital, monitored 3 times a day, 3 ultrasounds a week from 24wks till delivery. Greatfully they were born at 32 +2. Abby (baby A) is home and has been since Early Oct. They were due Oct 13th. All they knew about Clara was that her kidney looked dialated at times, she had a large size omphalacelle without liver being involved. And her heart seemed to be of its axis by about 20 degrees. Oh and her spine was a bit distorted. They were delivered at hartford hospital level 3 hospital here in CT. I look and look and can't find anyone with a OEIS baby that made it. She now has RSV on top of it all. All it entails.. but I was thinking yesterday... All the problems she has, cosmetic.. The premiee lung disease..shes working on. but this all wont affect her future really...she'll never have to use the potty, lucky her.But I wonder and have anxiety of how close I was to loosing her or both at any minute. I am sorry for your loss. But maybe it was meant to be for a reason. Shes 4 1/2 months old and dosen't know the world. We've barely been able to hold her. Or give her or love. I'll never be able to leave my house again with out a certified RN to sit with my child. How logical is that? And still deal with a 3 1/2, 2 yr old and twin the same age but so different. HOW? I will take it on, but i never know how im gunna deal till it's in my lap..
good luck to you n yours. If you have heard from any other parents with this let me know. the girls have a myspace page under the search "the twins are here!" If you want to see pics of what it would have looked like.
Was it just bladder cloacal extrophy? Or was it the more serious OEIS? It sounded from your Sept blog like OEIS. My Baby girl Clarise is Twin B of monoamniotic monochronic twin girls. I spent 2 months in the hospital, monitored 3 times a day, 3 ultrasounds a week from 24wks till delivery. Greatfully they were born at 32 +2. Abby (baby A) is home and has been since Early Oct. They were due Oct 13th. All they knew about Clara was that her kidney looked dialated at times, she had a large size omphalacelle without liver being involved. And her heart seemed to be of its axis by about 20 degrees. Oh and her spine was a bit distorted. They were delivered at hartford hospital level 3 hospital here in CT. I look and look and can't find anyone with a OEIS baby that made it. She now has RSV on top of it all. All it entails.. but I was thinking yesterday... All the problems she has, cosmetic.. The premiee lung disease..shes working on. but this all wont affect her future really...she'll never have to use the potty, lucky her.But I wonder and have anxiety of how close I was to loosing her or both at any minute. I am sorry for your loss. But maybe it was meant to be for a reason. Shes 4 1/2 months old and dosen't know the world. We've barely been able to hold her. Or give her or love. I'll never be able to leave my house again with out a certified RN to sit with my child. How logical is that? And still deal with a 3 1/2, 2 yr old and twin the same age but so different. HOW? I will take it on, but i never know how im gunna deal till it's in my lap..
good luck to you n yours. If you have heard from any other parents with this let me know. the girls have a myspace page under the search "the twins are here!" If you want to see pics of what it would have looked like.
Was it just bladder cloacal extrophy? Or was it the more serious OEIS? It sounded from your Sept blog like OEIS. My Baby girl Clarise is Twin B of monoamniotic monochronic twin girls. I spent 2 months in the hospital, monitored 3 times a day, 3 ultrasounds a week from 24wks till delivery. Greatfully they were born at 32 +2. Abby (baby A) is home and has been since Early Oct. They were due Oct 13th. All they knew about Clara was that her kidney looked dialated at times, she had a large size omphalacelle without liver being involved. And her heart seemed to be of its axis by about 20 degrees. Oh and her spine was a bit distorted. They were delivered at hartford hospital level 3 hospital here in CT. I look and look and can't find anyone with a OEIS baby that made it. She now has RSV on top of it all. All it entails.. but I was thinking yesterday... All the problems she has, cosmetic.. The premiee lung disease..shes working on. but this all wont affect her future really...she'll never have to use the potty, lucky her.But I wonder and have anxiety of how close I was to loosing her or both at any minute. I am sorry for your loss. But maybe it was meant to be for a reason. Shes 4 1/2 months old and dosen't know the world. We've barely been able to hold her. Or give her or love. I'll never be able to leave my house again with out a certified RN to sit with my child. How logical is that? And still deal with a 3 1/2, 2 yr old and twin the same age but so different. HOW? I will take it on, but i never know how im gunna deal till it's in my lap..
good luck to you n yours. If you have heard from any other parents with this let me know. the girls have a myspace page under the search "the twins are here!" If you want to see pics of what it would have looked like.
Thank you all for your comments! Kelly, from what I understand, she had OEIS, which included cloacal exstrophy. I am confused about all of it simply b/c the autopsy report stated that OEIS is almost fatal. Yet, the list of anomalies were no different than what the perinatologists found on the u/s, and they (nor the surgeons) claimed that it was probably fatal.
God Bless your twins!!
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