Down the Road of Bittersweet

It's funny who you meet when you are faced with a major tragedy. A friend of a friend of a friend heard about Bernadette when we first found out about her condition and emailed me. She also experienced a scary prenatal diagnosis - her daughter was found to have Trisomy 13. Her beautiful little girl was delivered at 35 weeks and spent 50 precious minutes with her parents before she passed away. Her story and those of other families have really helped me realize that I'm not alone in this. Their testimonies can be found at a great website, Prenatal Partners for Life, which is for parents who discover that their unborn babies have serious conditions that are either incompatible with life or will require extensive treatment. There is little support out there for moms and dads like us. Doctors ask or may even encourage the parents to terminate their pregnancies. Surgeons may refuse to perform certain surgeries if the child is known to have a fatal birth defect. Almost all cloacal exstrophy kids are aborted, even though those who do live (it has a 90% survival rate) live full, rich lives. So, I'd like to encourage parents in similar situations to find support and talk to those who have been there. Please know that you are not alone. You will get through this, and there is a purpose for your baby's time on earth, however short it is. You may never understand why you have to carry such a heavy burden, but know that there is hope. Not a day goes by that I don't wish with all my heart that Bernadette was here with us today. But at the same time, she is here. She resides in me and my family and those whose lives she's touched. I know she is interceding for us at this very moment, and we are a stronger family because of her.

The title of my blog entry is that of a song on the Prenatal Partners for Life homepage. There is no better word to describe the past year. Bittersweet. I am so thankful for the 9 months I had with Bernadette. So much good has come from her short life. And although the grief I feel is often unbearable, I don't regret for an instant this road of bittersweet.